Sweet

Check out my brother's website - it's awesome!

In other news, still pregnant. Yeah.

This is what we pay taxes for?

So get this - the city sent us a letter a few weeks ago, stating their intention to replace our water meter and desiring us to set up an appointment for said replacement. Fine. Whatever. Appointment made.

The friendly lady from the water department came, attempted her work, pronounced it not good, and announced that, prior to replacing the meter, we would have to shell out for a plumber to come replace a valve (also involving the tearing up of concrete around selfsame valve). If this work were not completed in a timely matter, friendly lady informed, our water would be summarily shut off. We would then still have to pay for a plumber, and from thence the meter would be replaced and our water restored.

So, curiosity being what it is, I inquired as to the reason behind replacing the meter at all. Friendly lady said she didn't know, it was possible it was faulty, but more likely, said she, was that "some of the new girls in the office were just generating random lists".

WHAT???????

Come on!

I mean, seriously.

Dear old Rabbie Burns

Many thanks to the Mother of all Jurries, who alerted me that yesterday was the birthday of Robert Burns, the Bard of Scotland, and therefore the holiday known the world round as Burns night. Unfortunately the Birns did not have a traditional Burns dinner, though if we had...

We would have dined in style on cock-a-leekie soup, haggis, tatties and neeps (mashed potatoes and rutabagas), clootie dumpling pudding, and other such Scottish delicacies. All of this washed down with adequate amounts of the "water of life" (Scotch whiskey, naturally). We would have read the Address to a Haggis, with appropriate amounts of irony and humor, of course.

A time of "immortal memory" would have followed, with reminiscences of Burn's life and works expounded on at length. Steve would've proposed a toast to the lassy who had prepared the meal, along with sharing his views on womankind. I would then return the favor, with a toast to the laddy and a general ruminating on the shortcomings of men. This done, we'd have read our favorite Burns poems, sung our favorite Burns songs, and danced the Highland Fling. Festivities over, we'd have sung Auld Lang Syne, and called it a night.

Sadly, we didn't do any of this. I did make shortbread for prayer meeting though. It was good.

Selkirk Grace

Some hae meat and cannot eat.
Some cannot eat that want it:
But we hae meat and we can eat,
Sae let the Lord be thankit.

Finally!

At long last I get around to putting the ultrasound pictures. We're so glad that our son seems to be healthy and well. He certainly is an active boy, with an apparent enthusiasm (and corresponding lack of talent) for dancing, particularly (but not limited to) between 2 and 4 in the morning. This dancing of course stops as I want to have Steve feel the baby's movements. A very stubborn boy, our Stuart.

Early this morning while the baby danced himself silly, I laid awake thinking big, ponderous thoughts. Well, honestly, most of my thoughts were of how much I wanted to be sleeping, but I did have some good thoughts. And the thing that strikes me about the middle of the night is how it's a perfect time for prayer. There are none of the distractions (well, besides rhythm-impaired infants) that exist during the day. No chores to be done, no blogs to be checked (it's been 2 minutes - there might be something new!), no errands to run, no calls to be made, no barking and dissenting dogs to discipline, no pretty, sparkly, brightly colored objects to be distracted by. It's 2 in the morning, it's dark, the bed is comfy and therefore a better alternative to being up, and things are generally pretty peaceful.

I won't say all that I prayed for, except to say that there were very fervent thanks to God for the man who invented Tums (I'm very grateful to this man, whomever he might be). I will say that I am very grateful to God for all His blessings in my life, including unborn white boys who can't dance. :-)

It's a boy!

Yes folks, it's a boy. Stuart Mark Birn is due April 27, 2007, and those who know such things inform me that he is healthy and well and developmentally on track. We give thanks to God for this blessing, and covet prayers for continued health.

Ultrasound pictures are forthcoming.

BTW - I think little Stuart would look really cute in one of these (and for those of you who were sure it was a girl and wanted to order one of these, remember, Stuart might have a sister someday :-) )

Mmmmmmmmmm. Let's eat.

Well, well. You've all done very well. Your suggestions for local eateries all sounded good, and were mostly within the boundaries of the rules. I was pleased to see some of my favorite spots recommended, some more than once. As I said, I figured this out earlier. But.... now I've rethought it several times. So the revised list goes as follows:

Breakfast: Now this is hard. I happen to love Wolfgang's Eggs Benedict, and though I've never tried them at Real Food Cafe or the Red Geranium, I'm sure they're scrumptious there as well. Still, all things considered, I'm going to stick with Brandywine. The Brandy Benedict is amazing (loaded with chicken, spinach, tomato, and cheese - yum), and comes with potatoes. Since I'm boring and only drink water when I go out, my total here is $7.50.

Lunch: Again, I am conflicted. I love the Cottage Bar (no one else in town makes better burgers, except of course my dear Mr B), enjoy Two Choppers (the almost Soup Nazi-ish style of ordering is worth it when you've got a yummy gyro to show for it), and am partial to the Real Food Cafe (I'm convinced they make everything with a stick of butter. How bad could that be?). I have to give a shout out to Russ' here, and say that as long as you don't order the hot turkey sandwich, most of the sandwiches are delightful. However, I had a big breakfast, and want something light. Therefore, a trip to Marie Catrib's is in order, where the hummus and tabbouleh pita is delish. I can't remember exactly how much that costs, but I'm going to guess it's in the neighborhood of $7.00.

Snack: A little slice of happiness in the form of Arnie's Dutch Chocolate Torte. It's dark chocolate, so it's good for you. Yeah. Costs somewhere around $3.00.

Dinner: San Chez is really really good. So is Tre Cugini. So is Pietros. And One Trick Pony, and Yen Ching (though sadly, as noted before, the good Yen Ching is closed), and Osta's and so many more. But right now I'm in the mood for chicken vesuvio, and no one makes it better (if they make it at all) than Olive's in East GR. The large portion goes for about $14.00, and comes with yummy potatoes and artichokes.

Dessert: The only no contest question. Any of the yummerific confections at La Dolce Vita, taking out that last $8.00. Yes, I know I got cake for snack. Shut up. It's good cake and I ate a light lunch. And La Dolce Vita is not to be missed. It's fantastic. Seriously.

Total cost:
$39.50

I think I want cake now. In fact, I think I need cake. The baby needs cake. Mmmmm....

Let's all play $40 a Day!

Those of you who read my husband's blog know that he recently posted about our fascination with and loathing for tv cook Rachael Ray. It would be as well to say here that we do occasionally use her recipes and certainly her general ideas when creating the daily gourmet feast known as dinner at the Birns. However, the queen of perkiness does grate on the nerves after not too long. Why do we watch? Clearly we're sick. Shut up. We can stop whenever we want to. Yeah.

Anyway, where I'm going with this is: amongst her many shows, Rachael Ray hosts a program entitled $40 a Day, wherin she visits different cities (usually American, though she has gone to Europe). The gimmick is that she has a budget of $40 per day (duh) with which to feed herself (breakfast, lunch, and dinner, sometimes with a drink or snack thrown in). She patronizes only local establishments, and often supposedly gets the opinion of the yocals as to where the best places are.

SO... my question is this, where would you go here in the greater Grand Rapids area* with $40 to blow? Now, in order to play this little game of mine, you have to give recommendations for breakfast, lunch, and dinner (if you think you'd have monies to spare for a snack or drink, please share where you'd spend them) . If you have favorite dishes at your restaurants, please name them, and better still, if you have a general idea of cost, include that. You don't have to figure in tips - Rachael Ray only does when it suits her. No going out of your way to impress me with your thriftiness either. If you happen to come in severely under budget, so be it, but the point is to get the most out of your forty bucks. Local chains are allowed, but no national chains or big box eateries. Them's the rules, baby. **

Where would I go? I figured it out earlier. I'll tell you later. I want to see if other people have the same ideas as I do. In fact, I'm really looking forward to seeing where y'all would go. Mostly because I'm nosy, but also because I'm hungry, despite a very delish lunch at a place that may well show up on some lists here.

Isn't this a fun game? We can all sit and think about food. Not much better than that, I'm thinking.








*To those reading outside GR that would still like to play, go ahead. I'll have no choice but to trust your recommendations. :)

**A note to certain wise guys who work at a certain local chain who may or may not be related to me - entries listing breakfast, lunch, and dinner all deriving from the same local chain (even if they are different locations) are considered invalid. Nice try.

Confession

Today I ate a whole can of French's Onion Rings - the cheesy kind to boot - all by myself.




Further confession - I feel no remorse.

Items of Interest

First of all and most importantly of all, I have joyous news to impart. As of last week, D&W (otherwise a mostly worthless and overpriced grocery, but I say nothing) is carrying a line of stir-fry sauces from Yen Ching. This line includes General Tso sauce - hooray! Now I just have to figure out how to make the tempura chicken. That'll be easy, right?

As my dear Mr B has recorded already, last week found us in Chicago. There, as you will certainly gather from his account, we ate like pigs who had lost interest in life and really let themselves go. Not recorded in his posts are the visits to the Ghiradelli, Hershey, and Lindt stores. To all who anticipate travel to the Windy City, note this: each of these stores offers free samples upon entering the store, and the person handing out free samples never looks up. You can go through again and again and they never catch on. Fun times. All I can say is that the baby wanted chocolate. And as far as the Morton's dinner went... well, clearly the baby wanted beef and lots of it. They say protein is important during pregnancy, right?

We attended the Chicago Symphony Orchestra's performance of Mahler's Third Symphony. Firstly, the positives. The building is very beautiful. The symphony orchestra itself is a very talented group, with the brass section in particular getting a chance to shine. Michelle DeYoung was the visiting mezzo-soprano and she does have a very lovely voice (though girlfriend should consider some anti-frizz treatment for her hair). I hadn't been to a symphony performance so far this year, and thoroughly enjoyed going again. I really do enjoy classical music and am always ready to jump at an opportunity to attend a performance.

Now. The negatives. I have two main complaints, neither of which I expect sympathy for, but which I shall share nonetheless. First of all, while flanked on the left by my dear Mr B, seated next to me on the right was a gentleman of considerable girth and not so apparent standards of hygiene. That is to say, he stunk to high heaven. In addition to these considerable disadvantages, he appeared to suffer from emphysema or COPD or some such respiratory distress. This distress he made worse by silently weeping throughout the duration of the performance. The pattern of the evening was then to weep and wheeze, alternately, with some apparently moving sections producing heavier weeping and the resultant desperate wheezing and clutching for air. Strangely, all this silent but copious emotion and pulminary distress seemed to make the stench worse. Most distressing.

The second negative is that the symphony was written by Mahler. Now, it may well be that Herr Mahler was a convivial sort, perhaps even a barrel of laughs. I don't know much about his life. What I do know is that he wrote some really awful music. The 3rd Symphony, which we heard, was apparently based off a work of Nietzsche. Not a good indicator of what was to come. His music is why people think they hate classical music. It's the sort of music that goes on and on and on being quiet and boring only to startle all of the dozing audience by having the trumpets and drums come crashing in pointlessly. If the Symphony we heard was any indication of Mahler's other works, he seemed to be a fan of the endless ending. That's when the music gives every indication that it is coming to an end, and in fact seems to have ended, only to, against all reason, continue and give at least five more false endings before finally, mercifully, coming to a stop. They should consider playing Mahler down at Club Gitmo. While awful in a different way than Britney Spears, it might be just as effective.

That said, it was fun to go and I'm glad we went. We had fun times shopping on Michigan Ave and certainly enjoyed the trip over all. Fun times, y'all.

In other news, the ignitor went out on my oven, but will be replaced tomorrow (let the peasants rejoice).

Last night Mr B and I went to a dismally boring training session on how to be poll challengers. I hope the job isn't as boring as the training and I really hope I don't have to work with some of the yutzes who were asking stupid questions and prolonging the agony for all of us. I am anxious to see which ghetto precinct they're going to put me into and whether or not I'll have to do much challenging. I actually hope I get to challenge something and feel like I did my part to keep election procedures fair, legal, and etc. Also, I think I will bring cookies so the poll workers will like me.

Hmmm... what else? Probably not so much. Mayhap I will write more soon, but I wouldn't count on it if I were you. Also, how is it one updates to this Beta Blogger, and is it worth it? Hmm...

Major craving alert

Right now I desperately want to eat General Tso chicken from Yen Ching. But not Yen Ching on 28th St. They don't make it right there. I want General Tso chicken from Yen Ching downtown, which of course has been closed for a couple of years. And no other Chinese place will do. If it be not Yen Ching, it be not worthwhile. I thusly recognize that this craving is impossible to fufill. That, however, does not mean I can focus on anything else. All I can think about is lovely General Tso chicken. Yummy spicy crispy chicken. With sticky rice. Or maybe fried rice. Yeah, fried rice. And crab rangoon. And that tea they made at Yen Ching (downtown, of course). Oy. It's gonna be a long day.

I hate snow

I'm not ready for winter yet.

Well well

Sentient Nebulae!

Heh. I really just wanted to use that for a post title. I have no earthly idea what this post will actually be about. How fun for you, the reader.

Weeeeellllllllllllllll.......... lessee. This week.... hmmmm.... well, we discovered that we're quite good at making gumbo, and quite awful at thinking ahead. I suppose if we had thought ahead, we could've cut the recipe in half, or maybe even quarters. But no. We aren't smart like that. We instead made a vat full of it, and I'm quite serious when I say that I can't stand the sight of it anymore. But it is delicious. Maybe we'll airmail it to some starving goodish sized country.

Also discovered this week was the third floor here at Chez Birn. Mrs P was so good as to accompany me on this adventure, and will bear witness to the extreme coolness of said attic. Lovely wood floors, exposed brick, nifty windows - I'm quite excited.

Is it cheating to link to something someone else just linked? Very well, then, I'm a cheat. My brother John linked this WAY awesome music video several weeks ago and since I'm a big old dork, I still think it's cool despite repeated viewings and the fact that it's probably really not cool at all to begin with. That's ok. I'm good with being a dork.

So tomorrow begins MSU football season. Oy. Not going to tomorrow's game, but instead will experience football widowhood for the first time. Maybe I'll go shopping. Yeah. And get new football widowhood shoes. Ok, maybe I can live with this.

Anyway, another boring post concluded. I really ought to start a nice educational series of posts soon. Yes. Yes, indeed. I shall.

Maybe.

A Bright, Shiny, New Day in Brogging

This is only like the coolest brog ever. It's wonderful! I love it! It's great! Well, it's pretty good. It's not too bad. There are some parts that aren't that great. It actually could be a lot better. I don't really like it all that much. It's pretty terrible. It's awful, as a matter of fact.

Sodium related query

Who do you think it was that first looked at salt and thought, "Hey, I'll eat that!", and more importantly, why?

Singin la la la la la-la-la la

Well, folks, even grooviness, penultimate though it be, takes a vacation now and then. But all vacations must come to an end sooner or later. Elstwise they would not be vacations, would they? Exactly.

At any rate, grooviness and coolness are abounding. For serious. For instance, yesterday I went to vote in the primaries and got to vote for my own husband. How cool is that? I mean, really. That's pretty sweet stuff there.

Mrs P has returned from her sojurn in Canada bearing news of a new Ikea store in Canton. The excitement is pert near too much, I can tell you. I've got a little list...

I've often thought about the kind of bakery I would open, given half a chance. I found it, last Saturday, whilst in Detroit. Mr B, who is always spot on when it comes to predicting what I will and will not like, assured me I would love the Astoria Pastry Shop in Greektown. I doubted, to my shame, and was proved wrong in a big way. This place is amazing. I found, to my dissapointment, that my husband did not intend to buy me one of everything so I could sample the full range of yumminess. I instead contented myself with the chocolate mousse, a cookie, and a promise that every future sporting event I am dragged to in the Motor City will be rewarded by a visit to my new favorite bakery. I think I can live with that.

I promised several posts re: our Italian adventures. I will try to scrabble something together later. For now, I will tell the tale of a very obnoxious American tourist. We were seated in a lovely trattoria, enjoying the customary long pause between ordering and receiving our food, when we couldn't help overhearing a loud, brightly dressed, very American woman. She was surveying her menu (full of unbelievably delicious Italian food) and was unable to find that which she sought after. She then interrogated the waiter, "Do you have spaghetti and meatballs? You know, meatballs? You make them with hamburger and breadcrumbs and egg? Meatballs? They're Italian!" It was at that moment that I clearly saw why Europeans hate Americans. And I really can't say as I blame them.

Well, well. Can't sit around typing all day. Must move along. On a final note of coolness, I just want to say welcome back to blogging, Loretta. Very cool.

There

I updated.

"There seems to be a proponderance of naked men..."

Scared ya there, didn't I? Heh. The above quote was first uttered by a passing British tourist, in regards to Florentine statuary. Said tourist was correct, incidentally.

Italy was absolutely amazing. I will post about our travels in greater detail later on, suffice it to say for now that it was beautiful. Florence and Siena were my favorites, though I loved the Cinque Terre. We spent one day in Bologna and that was one day too many, I regret to say. Venice was at once decrepit and lovely. That said, it wasn't my fav. Since hardly anyone actually lives there, it's mostly tourists, and that tries the nerves.

The tourists, you see, are an interesting lot. There were the Germans, who were rude and obnoxious and also still seem under the impression that Italy belongs to them. There were the Japanese, who raced after their tour guide's uplifted umbrella, determined to see the five things they came to see and nothing else. The Brits were hilarious, providing hours of entertainment and education to the casual eavesdropper. They seem to work in teams - they all take turns providing opportunities for each other to pontificate on art, history, botany, or whatever happens to be the topic du jour. I'll give 'em this much - they did their homework before they came.

And then there are the Americans. Oy. How embarrassing. There's nothing worse than realizing that your countrymen visiting abroad are treating the place like Epcot. A hint to those who would travel - Europe is not a zoo. I'll be writing a rant about obnoxious American tourists at some point this week. I've got issues with these folk.

The food, should you wish to know, was far and away the best I've had ever. I loved loved loved loved loved the gelato (and whaddya know? there's a stand on every corner!) and we got some chocolate yummiliciousness at the pasticherrias as well. I'm somewhat addicted to prosciutto and fresh mozzerella sandwiches now, as well as Nutella and biscuits for breakfast. And someday maybe I'll be able to eat pasta at a resturant here in the states, but it won't be soon. It's just too soon to desecrate the memory of real Italian pasta.

The countryside was spectacular. We had really lovely views from our rooms while in Tuscany, and the Mediterrianian is breathtakingly beautiful. I think we were able to balance seeing really important sights and living somewhat like locals, albeit rather odd locals. We visited world famous art museums, and sat in a local laundromat. We walked in a grand palace and skulked around in it's dungeons. We walked and walked and walked and walked and walked (we NEEDED the gelato for energy! yeah! that's the ticket!), and spent some lovely hours hanging out in the piazzas

Ah yes, so much to write about, but frankly, I'm jet-lagged and have had to re-type almost every word. This won't do at all. I'll write more later. By the way, the links in the second paragraph are to our pictures. These aren't all of them, but they're by far the best. Ciao ciao!

Somebody's getting marrrieeeed!!!!!

Bears:
Extra! Extra! Somebody's getting married!
Somebody's getting married? HEY, somebody's getting married!
Whoa, somebody's getting married!
Pops: Somebody's getting married???
Lew Zealand: Somebody's getting marrrrieeeed!
Group:
Somebody's getting married! Somebody's getting married! Somebody's getting somebody's getting somebody's getting somebody somebody somebody somebody...!
Kermit, Gonzo, Fozzie, Scooter:
Somebody get some flowers!
Somebody get a ring!
Somebody get a chapel and a choir to sing!
Kermit: Somebody get an organ to play!
Singing Tuxedos: Cause somebody's getting married today!
Miss Piggy, Janice, Camilla:
Somebody get a preacher!
Somebody bake a cake!
Somebody get some shoes and rice and presents to take!
Miss Piggy: Somebody get a sweet negilee!
Singing Veils: Cause somebody's getting married today!
Swedish Chef: Veddeeng! Veddeeng! Peeg und fruggeee veddeeng!
Men:
Somebody get champagne!
Somebody rent a room!
Girls:
Somebody get the lovely bride!
And somebody get the-
Men: Somebody get the-
Both: Somebody somebody somebody somebody somebody--!
Female Voices: Somebody get this wedding underway!
Swedish Chef: Coose-a sumebudy's getteeng merreeed toodey!
Bear Family: Somebody's getting married....today!
Ernie: Are they here yet, are they here yet, did I miss it, am I late?
Bert: No, they're be here any minute!
Cookie Monster: Oh boy, me can hardly wait.
Pops: Isn't this exciting--it's the wedding of the year!
Sam The Eagle: Well, can't we start without them?
Muppet News Anchorman: No, you can't until they're here.
Sam: Hmm.
Chorus of Penguins: They're finally getting married now!


I'm getting married tomorrow!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!