Thursday, January 19, 2006

If I ran the world...

... socks would stay in the ownership of those who had purchased them and not disappear for seemingly no reason.
... catalogues would come in the mail everyday. Good ones too, full of crap you never knew you wanted.
... gas would be free, as well as car insurance. Also, cars would be free to people I liked. But not to morons, because they shouldn't be on the road. Actually, I'd get to choose who got to drive. yeah.
... there would be no billiards clocks. ;-)
... passports would be free. And there would be no obnoxious lines at the post office full of whiny old people would can't handle standing and waiting for five minutes. Also, there would be a rule about postal workers having to be witty and charming and thus interesting to converse with.
... there would be a minimum 25% tipping law enforced at Grandville Russ', regardless of quality of care. yeah.
... everyone else's blogs would be updated daily, and I'd never have to update, but still get hundreds of comments.

13 comments:

Erika said...

hmm...u'd be spending all ur time running around deciding who gets cars!! Would I get a car?

Mark said...

So you'd outlaw lines of whiny old people, but you wouldn't actually outlaw whiny old people? Why not just go all the way - whiny people either get force-fed Prozac or rounded up and put into camps. The best part about the camp option is that you can treat them however you want - they'll whine anyway, so it doesn't matter! Sure, it's "inhumane", but c'mon - if you're going to be a tyrant, do it right.

NPE said...

I would want thousands of millions of comments though.

Eva Lemmon..? said...

I posted yesterday and today.

Where were you playing billiards???

steveandjanna said...

Catalogues aren't good for anyone.

Mrs. P said...

Having a little friction on the registry issue eh? I'm sure billiards clocks are charming!

When are we going to Target?

Mrs. P said...

EriKa...

The correct and ONLY spelling of "you" is "you". NO U or UR IF you please.

MAUDE! Prepare my super glue!

steveandjanna said...

We're putting off Target until May 28th.

Mark said...

Surely Steve isn't advocating breaking the Sabbath to register for wedding gifts. For shame, for shame...

Eva Lemmon..? said...

Where were you going to to target??

Penumbra said...

I tried to walk into target, but I missed.

Anonymous said...

Target is Marshall Field's little sister. :) Don't forget that NL.

steveandjanna said...

I don't believe Target and Marshall Fields are owned by the same company anymore. Marshall Fields was sold to the Macy's people last year. Either way don't fool yourself, they're hardly the same type or class of store.