There

I updated.

"There seems to be a proponderance of naked men..."

Scared ya there, didn't I? Heh. The above quote was first uttered by a passing British tourist, in regards to Florentine statuary. Said tourist was correct, incidentally.

Italy was absolutely amazing. I will post about our travels in greater detail later on, suffice it to say for now that it was beautiful. Florence and Siena were my favorites, though I loved the Cinque Terre. We spent one day in Bologna and that was one day too many, I regret to say. Venice was at once decrepit and lovely. That said, it wasn't my fav. Since hardly anyone actually lives there, it's mostly tourists, and that tries the nerves.

The tourists, you see, are an interesting lot. There were the Germans, who were rude and obnoxious and also still seem under the impression that Italy belongs to them. There were the Japanese, who raced after their tour guide's uplifted umbrella, determined to see the five things they came to see and nothing else. The Brits were hilarious, providing hours of entertainment and education to the casual eavesdropper. They seem to work in teams - they all take turns providing opportunities for each other to pontificate on art, history, botany, or whatever happens to be the topic du jour. I'll give 'em this much - they did their homework before they came.

And then there are the Americans. Oy. How embarrassing. There's nothing worse than realizing that your countrymen visiting abroad are treating the place like Epcot. A hint to those who would travel - Europe is not a zoo. I'll be writing a rant about obnoxious American tourists at some point this week. I've got issues with these folk.

The food, should you wish to know, was far and away the best I've had ever. I loved loved loved loved loved the gelato (and whaddya know? there's a stand on every corner!) and we got some chocolate yummiliciousness at the pasticherrias as well. I'm somewhat addicted to prosciutto and fresh mozzerella sandwiches now, as well as Nutella and biscuits for breakfast. And someday maybe I'll be able to eat pasta at a resturant here in the states, but it won't be soon. It's just too soon to desecrate the memory of real Italian pasta.

The countryside was spectacular. We had really lovely views from our rooms while in Tuscany, and the Mediterrianian is breathtakingly beautiful. I think we were able to balance seeing really important sights and living somewhat like locals, albeit rather odd locals. We visited world famous art museums, and sat in a local laundromat. We walked in a grand palace and skulked around in it's dungeons. We walked and walked and walked and walked and walked (we NEEDED the gelato for energy! yeah! that's the ticket!), and spent some lovely hours hanging out in the piazzas

Ah yes, so much to write about, but frankly, I'm jet-lagged and have had to re-type almost every word. This won't do at all. I'll write more later. By the way, the links in the second paragraph are to our pictures. These aren't all of them, but they're by far the best. Ciao ciao!

Somebody's getting marrrieeeed!!!!!

Bears:
Extra! Extra! Somebody's getting married!
Somebody's getting married? HEY, somebody's getting married!
Whoa, somebody's getting married!
Pops: Somebody's getting married???
Lew Zealand: Somebody's getting marrrrieeeed!
Group:
Somebody's getting married! Somebody's getting married! Somebody's getting somebody's getting somebody's getting somebody somebody somebody somebody...!
Kermit, Gonzo, Fozzie, Scooter:
Somebody get some flowers!
Somebody get a ring!
Somebody get a chapel and a choir to sing!
Kermit: Somebody get an organ to play!
Singing Tuxedos: Cause somebody's getting married today!
Miss Piggy, Janice, Camilla:
Somebody get a preacher!
Somebody bake a cake!
Somebody get some shoes and rice and presents to take!
Miss Piggy: Somebody get a sweet negilee!
Singing Veils: Cause somebody's getting married today!
Swedish Chef: Veddeeng! Veddeeng! Peeg und fruggeee veddeeng!
Men:
Somebody get champagne!
Somebody rent a room!
Girls:
Somebody get the lovely bride!
And somebody get the-
Men: Somebody get the-
Both: Somebody somebody somebody somebody somebody--!
Female Voices: Somebody get this wedding underway!
Swedish Chef: Coose-a sumebudy's getteeng merreeed toodey!
Bear Family: Somebody's getting married....today!
Ernie: Are they here yet, are they here yet, did I miss it, am I late?
Bert: No, they're be here any minute!
Cookie Monster: Oh boy, me can hardly wait.
Pops: Isn't this exciting--it's the wedding of the year!
Sam The Eagle: Well, can't we start without them?
Muppet News Anchorman: No, you can't until they're here.
Sam: Hmm.
Chorus of Penguins: They're finally getting married now!


I'm getting married tomorrow!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Oh I say, that's rather splendid, isn't it?

Huzzah and hurrah for those good old crumpets, my brothers. These chaps rallied round and made me a rather splendid present of the complete Jeeves and Wooster series on DVD. Absolutely topping and all that. Words fail to express gratitude, etc for said marvelous gift.

My nephew is here!!!!!!

Congratulations to Justin and Marion Pickering on the birth of their precious baby boy, George Brice!!! He's here!!!!!!

Five days to go

Everyone keeps asking me if I'm nervous yet. This makes me nervous.

Sufficiently Decayed

So I've had this song stuck in my head all day; and as I see it, the best way to rid myself of it is to, that's right, blog about it. Or not so much blog about it as simply put up the lyrics. Though it's worth mentioning that the version with Eric Idle (as pictured above) is quite amusing. OK. So this is a complete cop-out of a post. Shut up. I'll write about interesting things again this summer. Maybe. We'll see. Read the lyrics. Gah.

Katisha: There is beauty in the bellow of the blast, There is grandeur in the growling of the gale, There is eloquent outpouring When the lion is a-roaring, And the tiger is a-lashing of his tail!

Ko-Ko:

Yes, I like to see a tiger From the Congo or the Niger, And especially when lashing of his tail!

Katisha:

Volcanoes have a splendour that is grim, And earthquakes only terrify the dolts, But to him who's scientific There's nothing that's terrific In the falling of a flight of thunderbolts!

Ko-Ko:

Yes, in spite of all my meekness, If I have a little weakness, It's a passion for a flight of thunderbolts!

Both:

If that is so, Sing derry down derry! It's evident, very, Our tastes are one. Away we'll go, And merrily marry, Nor tardily tarry Till day is done!

Ko-Ko:

There is beauty in extreme old age — Do you fancy you are elderly enough? Information I'm requesting On a subject interesting: Is a maiden all the better when she's tough?

Katisha:

Throughout this wide dominion It's the general opinion That she'll last a good deal longer when she's tough.

Ko-Ko:

Are you old enough to marry, do you think? Won't you wait till you are eighty in the shade? There's a fascination frantic In a ruin that's romantic; Do you think you are sufficiently decayed?

Katisha:

To the matter that you mention I have given some attention, And I think I am sufficiently decayed.

Both:
If that is so,
Sing derry down derry!
It's evident, very,
Our tastes are one.
Away we'll go,
And merrily marry,
Nor tardily tarry
Till day is done!

If that is so,
Sing derry down derry!
It's evident, very,
Our tastes are one.
Away we'll go,
And merrily marry,
Nor tardily tarry
Till day is done!

Sing derry down derry!
We'll merrily marry,
Nor tardily tarry
Till day is done!

Wheel of morality, turn, turn, turn. Tell us the lesson that we should learn.

So ever since John and Chuck posted about Animaniacs stuff on YouTube, I've been struck with how educational a show my favorite cartoon really was. That's right. I said it was educational. Not a waste of time at all. No. It was educational. Yeah. That's my story. I'm stickin' with it. It was instructive and informative. Note, if you will, the geographical lessons - nations of the world, states and capitols, even planets of our solar system. The senses song is classic, of course, but nothing, no nothing, can possibly compete with the coolest song ever. Neuroanatomy rocks, y'all.

fol-der-ol and fid-dle-dy-dee

OK, just some random thoughts today, written in a self absorbed manner, not unlike a livejournal or similar wanna be blog. I really should be cleaning, but sitting down and typing whatever fool thing comes to my head sounded much better. That's right. I'm cool like that.

On the subject of Lebanese food in Grand Rapids - first of all, I just want to say that I am a fan. Second of all, I thought it over, and really, Marie Catrib's has the best hummus. But Osta's Chicken Tawook is amazing and the baklava was the best I've had in a long time. So really, you can't miss.

On the subject of cleaning, which isn't sounding any better at the moment, frankly - I have waaaayyyy too much stuff here in my room. Seriously, it'd be easier to set fire to it than take care of it. Don't worry, Mom, I won't. I shall instead inflict all this stuff upon the poor. Yeah.

On the subject of shopping - again, I'm a fan. Blue Turtle Books (I'm pretty sure that's what the name was) at Godfrey and Hall is a way fun place. I intend to go there often. There is no finer smell in the world than used books. Except perhaps rubber cement. But that's probably just me.

Also on the subject of shopping - Rumor is that The Pepperberry closed. I hope this isn't true. I liked that place. Didn't often buy there, which is probably why they're closed, but I liked wandering around there.

On the subject of very exciting events - yesterday I got to feel little George Pickering kicking his poor mother. He's going to be here soon! I can't wait to hold him!

On a related subject, but with a strange and slightly depressing thought - Chances are really good that said George will be taller than me when he's ten. Great. I'll be his old and short Aunt Janna. He'll probably pat me on the head. Gah.

Back to cleaning - Haley's Hints is a great book, but what I wonder is who decided in the first place to try some of these things? I mean, I wouldn't look at a stain and think, "well, I'll mix some vinegar and toothpaste and salt and water softener and baking soda, spread it on a cut lemon, rub it on, and hope for the best!". But all these hints seem to work, so bully to whoever thought outside the box.

On the subject of still avoiding actual work - I could go for some waffles right now. Mmmmm.....

On the subject of things a certain brother is going to install on my computer - The Rijksmuseum in Amsterdam has this nifty widget thingy whereby they send you a different painting from their collection every single day. Also, it must be said, the Rijksmuseum website is much, much, much nicer and more informative than the Uffizi site. Not that that does me a bit of good, but still, there it is.

On the subject of waitressing - well, the less said about that the better. I'm almost done. I'll miss my coworkers at Russ' for sure. They're a great bunch of people. That said, I'm sick of getting pocket change and gospel tracts for tips. Cheap Dutchies, leaving me carefully counted out pennies, as if I work there for fun and the pennies are a pleasant bonus, rather than my main form of income. And then there was that Jew who came in the other night, insisted I wait on his table, and then made me give him a penny to help cover his bill. Gosh. Who let him in?

On the subject of the wedding - it's only four weeks away. Wow. It seems like everything's coming together. I don't know. I feel like I'm forgetting something. Oh well. It probably isn't anything important. Hopefully.

On the subject of things annoying, irritating, and generally pesky - My hair. It's a disaster. Seriously, growing it out sounds all fine and well, but it has no style now. I'd cut it all off, but for the wedding. I swear, I will get it cut in Italy.

On the subject of fun times - getting reply cards from wedding invites makes me happy. Of course, getting mail generally always makes me happy. There's something about a letter coming in the mail that can never be matched by email. The only thing better is getting a package from UPS. Oh yeah. I've got two coming. Excitement.

OK - I've slacked off WAY too long now. Back to work. This is a long post, so I don't expect I'll get more that 10 comments. Had I posted, "lalalalalalalalala", I might have gotten something like 87 comments, but I've been given to understand that that is demoralizing to fellow broggers, and we can't have that. No, indeedy. Also, I'm realizing that there's no way to end this post, except abruptly.

Alas! for these are degenerate times...

Woe to us that we should see the day! Ruffians and hooligans are wandering the streets of the previously halycon Grandville, egging the unoffending vehicles of the citizenry at will! Dissipation and profligacy abound! Will Grandville become the next ghetto? Will all cars be vulnerable to the evil intentions of various rotters and bad eggs (punny)? We fear. We tremble. We are dashed well shaken to the core. Or not. Either, really.

Am I going nuts or is that you?

So this was freaky weird. I looked at the clock, and it said 3:43. I looked again what surely seemed to be a minute later and the clock still said 3:43. I gazed upon the timepiece for what seemed to be a lifetime, and it remained at 3:43. I concluded the clock had become frozen. I couldn't resist one last look only seconds later - imagine my suprise when I saw that not only was 3:43 done and over, but the clock had seemingly given 3:44 a miss and gone straight to 3:45. I'm now scared of my obviously possessed clock.

It also occurs to me that perhaps 4 in the morning is not the wisest time to be shopping on Ebay. Too bad, that.

A New Post?

So it seems.

There really are people like that out there

I've been thinking lately about my days spent at the flower shop. People have the mistaken impression that what florists do all day is make daisy chains or something. Would that this were true. Mose of the time, a flower shop employee is dealing with the lunatic demands of the nouveau riche; all the while knowing that, no matter what, there will be nasty complaint calls to deal with. Some of our customers had extremely vivid imaginations and would conjure up, not only the most ghastly ideas for floral arrangements, but extreme conspiracy theories about how we were trying to make them look bad.

The best complaint call I ever had was in reference to an order I had only taken under duress (at Valentine's, no less). A man of dubious charm decided that nothing would do but to send a bud vase with a dead red rose, a dead white rose, and a perfect pink rose. He had dreamed up some sappy symbolism about how he and his girlfriend were, separately, like the dead roses, in that they were imperfect. But, and this is where the sap levels rise dangerously, put together they made a perfect combination, i.e. the pink rose. It was all really stupid and I told him so. I argued and argued that we, as a professional florist, could not send dead flowers intentionally. He demanded to speak to the owner, and finally after a valiant battle, said owner relented.

Well, the moron didn't convey his hidden meaning in his card message. The girlfriend called and was furious. She was, she said, the laughingstock of the office (question: who laughs at someone who gets dead roses? Who is really that cruel? Most likely, the coworkers didn't care or notice. but I digress). Only after several minutes of screaming, sobbing, and angry recriminations and threats was I able to get a word in edgewise. I explained her idiot boyfriend's thought process and then had to deal with the enraptured gushings and bleating sobs of a thoroughly snowed woman. She thought that her boyfriend was about the sweetest thing ever and couldn't believe how thoughtful and creative he was. She seemed pleased by my observation that they seemed perfect for each other (thank goodness she missed the sarcasm!), and no doubt thinks of the shop fondly.

I miss the wackos.

Forced by Public Outcry...

Rejoice, all ye who have longed to better understand the enigma that is Present Reality! Our pleadings have not been in vain! Check out the newest brog! Judging by the first post, I would say that this is going to be an extremely interesting and just a little bizarre spot in the brogosphere.

Parlo un po' l'italiano

C'e qualcuno qui che parla l'inglese?

A Gem of Wisdom Imparted at Pal's Diner

Congrats to Mrs P, who came up with the quote of the week:

"Ah! Mayo! Sweet nectar of life!!!"

Sweet, indeed.

Plant you now and dig you later

Does it get any better than swing slang? I don't think so.

What About Bob?

I mean, really, what about him?

What Day Is It?

Maybe it's tomorrow, and maybe it's not,

Maybe it's yesterday, I done forgot!

Hey, what day is it? Could you please tell me?

What day is it? What day is it? I'm confused, you see! OH!

Charge it!!!

Here at Penultimate Grooviness, capitalism is very much encouraged. In efforts to support the free market, many purchases are made (hey! I'm being patriotic! right? right? oh...) and the search is always on for appropriate places for those funny little slips of paper we call money to be spent at.

Well, I am pleased to report that a new e-store has been opened! Nate, of Presbyterian Thoughts and Life on Union Avenue fame, has designed a number of items, both useful and decorative. Amongst the favorites of yours truly are the Girlie Presbyterian shirt and the Calvin the Blogger apron. Also on my wish list are the ARC of GR sweatshirt and notebook (useful for keeping up with Rev Lanning, and definitely helpful for up and coming conventricles (sp?)!), though one wonders about the man bag.

So, chickens, run out and do your patriotic duty (and help pay someone's seminary tuition!) and buy, buy, buy!