Thursday, December 29, 2005
Oh, why not?
Well, seeing as it's so in vogue these days to have at least two blogs per person, I have opened a new division of the Ministry of the World. The Ministry of Food promises to be quite the entertaining little spot on the web; do please check it out!
Monday, December 26, 2005
Well, I laughed...
The other night I was out and about, and after the out and aboutness had almost ceased, was standing on an unnamed street with a certain person saying goodnight when our attention was distracted in a most amusing way.
Down the road a piece was a chain link fence. This fence was further topped with barbed wire fencing. The whyness of the barbed wire is something that remains a mystery, especially considering said fence surrounds a building that is not of what one would believe to be of the barbed wire persuasion. Anyways, what drew attention to the otherwise rather humdrum fence was the fact that a pickup had backed into a driveway alongside of it. Out of the truck emerged several men of the youngish, kinda longhaired variety. They began to hurl snowballs rather energetically at something, and spoke rather loudly about how "angry it looks" and how "it's gonna come after us!". Well, being as it was after 2:30 in the afternoon, it was rather dark out, so we thought about wandering over and seeing what was up. One of the seemly young men, moved by the emotion of the evening, decided a song was called for and began to sing that old favorite, "Eye of the Tiger"; a move that of course cinched the deal. We trudged over.
Well, caught in the barbed wire was an extremely irate looking possum. The boys had ceased to pelt snowballs at this point, evidently deciding that that method had not been successful in dislodging the beast. In a baffling turn of events, they retrieved the snow shovels they were inexplicably carrying in the truck. These shovels they then used to try and pry the wire apart far enough to free the livid rodent. The rodent, however, would have none of it, causing one kinda long haired guy to say, "Man, little dude. If you're not gonna help yourself, we're not gonna help you."
Despite this ominous threat, the young men continued pluckily to rescue their unwilling hostage. The possum looked as if it were ready to jump and gnaw their faces off, and probably the faces of all innocent bystanders. We stepped back. Just when all seemed lost, the possum shuffled on off the fence suddenly. There was a terrifying moment when uncertainty reigned; no one knowing what way the animal would travel. After what could best be described as a withering glance at his rescuers, the ungrateful wretch stalked offwards into the night, and the show was over.
Good story, huh?
Down the road a piece was a chain link fence. This fence was further topped with barbed wire fencing. The whyness of the barbed wire is something that remains a mystery, especially considering said fence surrounds a building that is not of what one would believe to be of the barbed wire persuasion. Anyways, what drew attention to the otherwise rather humdrum fence was the fact that a pickup had backed into a driveway alongside of it. Out of the truck emerged several men of the youngish, kinda longhaired variety. They began to hurl snowballs rather energetically at something, and spoke rather loudly about how "angry it looks" and how "it's gonna come after us!". Well, being as it was after 2:30 in the afternoon, it was rather dark out, so we thought about wandering over and seeing what was up. One of the seemly young men, moved by the emotion of the evening, decided a song was called for and began to sing that old favorite, "Eye of the Tiger"; a move that of course cinched the deal. We trudged over.
Well, caught in the barbed wire was an extremely irate looking possum. The boys had ceased to pelt snowballs at this point, evidently deciding that that method had not been successful in dislodging the beast. In a baffling turn of events, they retrieved the snow shovels they were inexplicably carrying in the truck. These shovels they then used to try and pry the wire apart far enough to free the livid rodent. The rodent, however, would have none of it, causing one kinda long haired guy to say, "Man, little dude. If you're not gonna help yourself, we're not gonna help you."
Despite this ominous threat, the young men continued pluckily to rescue their unwilling hostage. The possum looked as if it were ready to jump and gnaw their faces off, and probably the faces of all innocent bystanders. We stepped back. Just when all seemed lost, the possum shuffled on off the fence suddenly. There was a terrifying moment when uncertainty reigned; no one knowing what way the animal would travel. After what could best be described as a withering glance at his rescuers, the ungrateful wretch stalked offwards into the night, and the show was over.
Good story, huh?
Friday, December 23, 2005
Merry Christmas!
When I'm worried and I can't sleep
I count my blessings instead of sheep
And I fall asleep
Counting my blessings
When my bankroll is getting small
I think of when I had none at all
And I fall asleep
Counting my blessings
I think about a nursery and I picture curly heads
And one by one I count them as they slumber in their beds
If you're worried and you can't sleep
Just count your blessings instead of sheep
And you'll fall asleep
Counting your blessingsThursday, December 15, 2005
Random Stuff
Well, the semester is over! Hurrah! I managed to pull through finals creditably and now don't care to think about school until January.
Christmas is coming and I still have to buy gifts. Hmmm...
Not enough people appreciate Abba music. It's about as cool as it gets. Disco rocks, y'all.
Could it be that the gnomes of Wendler Avenue have come here to Pineview for the sole purpose of stealing my socks? It would explain a lot.
My sister Grace has a pretty sweet series going on her blog. Muppets are the reason for the season! Oh... wait...
Well, that's probably enough randomness for this evening. A new blog series is forthcoming on the rising architectural trend of neo-urbanism. I know, I know. It sounds thrilling. Try and calm yourselves.
Christmas is coming and I still have to buy gifts. Hmmm...
Not enough people appreciate Abba music. It's about as cool as it gets. Disco rocks, y'all.
Could it be that the gnomes of Wendler Avenue have come here to Pineview for the sole purpose of stealing my socks? It would explain a lot.
My sister Grace has a pretty sweet series going on her blog. Muppets are the reason for the season! Oh... wait...
Well, that's probably enough randomness for this evening. A new blog series is forthcoming on the rising architectural trend of neo-urbanism. I know, I know. It sounds thrilling. Try and calm yourselves.
Monday, December 12, 2005
Friday, December 09, 2005
They Glorifed Mary, We Glorifed Rice
I've been cleaning up my favorites bookmarks and came across a bunch of "You Might Be A .... IF..." lists. They're really too funny. The best were from the Lutheran, Presbyterian, and Dutch Reformed lists. The sad thing is that I relate to most of these.
You might Be Dutch Reformed IF...
you get excited at the thought of salted licorice
you don't think twice when someone mentions their Oma
you insist on singing the Dutch words to Ere Zig Gott
you get a sun burn when you read under a lamp.
you consider 30°F in the winter is warm.
you take off your shoes before entering the house
your last name begins with "Van"
you decided to form a study committee to add items to this list.
your study committee submitted a majority and minority report.
you develop a craving for ham buns.
you hear "tulip" and think "total depravity, unconditional election,..."
you visit another church and the second question you're asked is, "Are you related to...."
you can't think of any use for peppermints outside of church.
you've heard of a guy named Dooyeweerd.
you think kids who go to public school are strange.
a church picnic isn't the place to find Ms. or Mr. Right -- because everyone's related.
you get agitated and start looking at your watch when the minister says, "And my 4th point is...."
You Might Be a Lutheran IF...
you give a party and don't tell anyone where it is
during the entire service you hold your hymnal open but never look down at it
rather than introducing yourself to a visitor at church, you check their name out in the guestbook.
you think Garrison Keillor's stories are totally factual.
you have your wedding reception in the fellowship hall and feel guilty about not staying to help clean up.
you forget to put water in the baptismal font but never forget to put water in the coffee pot.
you don't make eye contact when passing someone in the hall because you think it's impolite.
your choir believes volume is a fair substitute for tonality.
in response to someone jumping up and shouting "Praise the Lord!", you politely remind him or her that we don't do that around here.
you think a meeting isn't legitimate unless it's at least three hours long.
you don't know what was sooo funny about dat movie "Fargo" then.
you make change in the offering plate for a ten.
you think butter is a spice.
you know what a "dead spread" is
you hear something really funny and smile as loud as you can.
you carry silverware in your pocket to church just in case there's a potluck.
you read your Catechism and start arguing theology with yourself because no one else is around.
You Might Be Presbyterian IF...
You can spellsupralapsrian , suprlapsarian, suralapsrian, supralapsarian.
You know the meaning of most or all of the following - PCA, PCUS, PCUSA, PC(USA), PC(U.S.A.), PCUSA(NS), PCUSA(OS), RPCES, RPCNA-GS, RPCNA, EPC, OPC, ARP, NAPARC, CRC, RCA, BPC, BPC-Collingswood, BPC-Columbus, CPC, TE, RE, WCF, WLC, WSC, BCO, UPC, UPCNA, UPCUSA, NPC,
You secretly suspect that John Calvin was a liberal because of his compromise on the Sabbath issue.
They aren't "catholics," or even "Roman Catholics." They're "Romanists," or "Papists."
When someone asks you a question about the Bible, you answer, "Well, the confession says . . . " or "the catechism says . . . "
When the spirit comes upon you in power, you don't raise your hands and shout Hallelujuah, rather you scratch your chin, turn to your neighbor and whisper "hmmm, . . . that was a good point."
Your children's names all begin with "covenant." In other words, normal people have babies, boys, girls, kids, and/or children. Presbyterians, on the other hand have "covenant" children. Instead of introducing your kids as Billy, Bobby and Suzy, it would be more proper to introduce them as Covenant-Bill, Covenant-Bob, and Covenant-Sue.
You might Be Dutch Reformed IF...
you get excited at the thought of salted licorice
you don't think twice when someone mentions their Oma
you insist on singing the Dutch words to Ere Zig Gott
you get a sun burn when you read under a lamp.
you consider 30°F in the winter is warm.
you take off your shoes before entering the house
your last name begins with "Van"
you decided to form a study committee to add items to this list.
your study committee submitted a majority and minority report.
you develop a craving for ham buns.
you hear "tulip" and think "total depravity, unconditional election,..."
you visit another church and the second question you're asked is, "Are you related to...."
you can't think of any use for peppermints outside of church.
you've heard of a guy named Dooyeweerd.
you think kids who go to public school are strange.
a church picnic isn't the place to find Ms. or Mr. Right -- because everyone's related.
you get agitated and start looking at your watch when the minister says, "And my 4th point is...."
You Might Be a Lutheran IF...
you give a party and don't tell anyone where it is
during the entire service you hold your hymnal open but never look down at it
rather than introducing yourself to a visitor at church, you check their name out in the guestbook.
you think Garrison Keillor's stories are totally factual.
you have your wedding reception in the fellowship hall and feel guilty about not staying to help clean up.
you forget to put water in the baptismal font but never forget to put water in the coffee pot.
you don't make eye contact when passing someone in the hall because you think it's impolite.
your choir believes volume is a fair substitute for tonality.
in response to someone jumping up and shouting "Praise the Lord!", you politely remind him or her that we don't do that around here.
you think a meeting isn't legitimate unless it's at least three hours long.
you don't know what was sooo funny about dat movie "Fargo" then.
you make change in the offering plate for a ten.
you think butter is a spice.
you know what a "dead spread" is
you hear something really funny and smile as loud as you can.
you carry silverware in your pocket to church just in case there's a potluck.
you read your Catechism and start arguing theology with yourself because no one else is around.
You Might Be Presbyterian IF...
You can spell
You know the meaning of most or all of the following - PCA, PCUS, PCUSA, PC(USA), PC(U.S.A.), PCUSA(NS), PCUSA(OS), RPCES, RPCNA-GS, RPCNA, EPC, OPC, ARP, NAPARC, CRC, RCA, BPC, BPC-Collingswood, BPC-Columbus, CPC, TE, RE, WCF, WLC, WSC, BCO, UPC, UPCNA, UPCUSA, NPC,
You secretly suspect that John Calvin was a liberal because of his compromise on the Sabbath issue.
They aren't "catholics," or even "Roman Catholics." They're "Romanists," or "Papists."
When someone asks you a question about the Bible, you answer, "Well, the confession says . . . " or "the catechism says . . . "
When the spirit comes upon you in power, you don't raise your hands and shout Hallelujuah, rather you scratch your chin, turn to your neighbor and whisper "hmmm, . . . that was a good point."
Your children's names all begin with "covenant." In other words, normal people have babies, boys, girls, kids, and/or children. Presbyterians, on the other hand have "covenant" children. Instead of introducing your kids as Billy, Bobby and Suzy, it would be more proper to introduce them as Covenant-Bill, Covenant-Bob, and Covenant-Sue.
Tuesday, December 06, 2005
Feeling Nostalgic... for the 90s? What? I Need Help...
Poll time!
What songs would you put on an ultimate 90s music CD? The first person to say MmmBop by Hanson gets smacked upside the head.
What songs would you put on an ultimate 90s music CD? The first person to say MmmBop by Hanson gets smacked upside the head.
Saturday, December 03, 2005
Aren't you glad you aren't this guy's neighbor?
This is, um, interesting...
For the record, it is really fun to try this with kitchen lights. Good times at the Jurries.
For the record, it is really fun to try this with kitchen lights. Good times at the Jurries.
Thursday, December 01, 2005
A Good Question, Indeed...
"Is it not strange that sheeps' guts should hail the souls out of men's bodies?"
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