In praise of the maize and blue

Now for a cheer they are here, triumphant!

Here they come with banners flying.

In stalwart step they're nighing.

With shouts of vict'ry crying.

We hurrah, hurrah, we greet you now, Hail!

Far we their praises sing

For the glory and fame they've bro't us,

Loud let the bells them ring,

For here they come with banners flying

Far we their praises tell

For the glory and fame they've bro't us,

Loud let the bells them ring

For here they come with banners flying

Here they come, Hurrah!

Hail! To the victors, valiant,

Hail! To the conqu'ring heroes

Hail! Hail! To Michigan the leaders and best

Hail! To the victors, valiant,

Hail! To the conqu'ring heroes

Hail! Hail! To Michigan the champions of the West!

Tulip Mania

One of the greatest economic crashes of all time came in the 1600s in the Netherlands. People just went berserk over tulips and pretty well based their economy on them. Naturally, this couldn't last and the market crashed rather spectacularly. But it is a fascinating period of time to study. Extreme measures would be taken to secure a rare tulip bulb. Apparently, at the height of the craze, one bulb was traded for the following :
• four tons of wheat
• eight tons of rye
• one bed
• four oxen
• eight pigs
• 12 sheep
• one suit of clothes
• two casks of wine
• four tons of beer
• two tons of butter
• 1,000 pounds of cheese
• one silver drinking cup.

That's a lot of gouda, people.

Meet Murray

On this particular Thursday Molly, Hazel, Will, and several other C-Cubed attendees pulled up to “The Pad.” One never knew quite what to expect from these little soirees, but this evening brought greater surprise that usual. When Moll and Hazel arrived, Tyler, Bo, and Wilkes were painting a rusting 15 passenger van with paint rollers and brooms, in a shade of hi-gloss latex interior paint which Bo informed them was “Poison Pen.” Mike DeGraaf shook his head doubtfully, and said “Huh. Looks like black to me.” and shuffled on into the house.

“Philistine!” huffed Bo.
“Bo… what are you doing” inquired Molly.
“Sister dear” said Bo with a flourish of his paint roller, “meet Murray!”
“Bo,” said Molly patiently, “I’m going to ask you again. WHAT ARE YOU DOING?”

Tyler poked his head round the enormous back end of the van. “We decided we needed a band wagon. For our air band. And other stuff. Vans are cool.”

“Yep, agreed Wilkes, slapping more black paint on the hood, “We saw this beaut parked by Aldi’s. They were selling it for $500, so we all pitched in and bought it.”

After a brief silence, Hazel slowly drawled “Whhhhhhyyy?”

Bo swiped at the right fender with a roller. “Tyler just told you. It’s for our air band.”

Molly realized that further inquiry was useless, and headed for the house. Hazel and Dana shrugged and followed. Upon entering the living room, they were hardly surprised to see that “Murray” had been incorporated into the décor. Four tattered benches from the bowels of the van were scattered about. Tyler wandered in, intent on his hostly duties, and said, “Whadya think of the new furniture? Cool, huh?”

“Yeah, nothing says stylish, yet safe, like a couch with seat belts.” Hazel observed.

Molly joined in “Nothing says class like duct tape chic!”

Tyler appeared to be pleased with these compliments and strolled off. Wilkes suddenly came crashing through the front door, hollering for garbage bags “AND QUICK!”

“Bo-Bo the clown stepped in the paint tray and it’s all OVER!” screeched Wilkes. Bo’s retort drifted in through the open door. “Yeah well if Wee Willy Wilkinson hadn’t left it out in the middle of everything, I wouldn’t have stepped in it!”

Bo’s shoe was drenched in Poison Pen. When it had dried sufficiently it became a piece of postmodern art, which Bo often spoke of entering in competitions sponsored by the local art museum.

Just another night at “The Pad”.

"Concerning a Young Woman who loved Art with a capitol A, and who appeared not to love Dishwashing."

I bring forth yet another book for your consideration, gentle readers. The name of this book is Parables of a Country Parson and it was written by William E. Barton. Seeing as I fully expect every last one of you to read the book, and therefore to read the preface, I see little need to explain in painstaking detail the history of Barton's life. Suffice it to say, he was a pastor, author, and speaker in the early twentieth century. In fact, if you are within reach of your 1930 copy of Who's Who, you will see that the entry regarding Barton is the longest. His contributions to the world of print are many and varied, but his most beloved are certainly his long running syndicated column, Safed the Sage. Safed is a barely veiled autobiographical character, and Safed's wife Keturah is most definitely written with Mrs Barton in mind. Parables of a Country Parson is a collection of some of these short stories and parables. Short indeed, at two to three pages each, they're perfect for the ADHD reader of today. Barton had a unique voice in his writing, possessing a style that is wise, humorous, and wonderfully down to earth. He was, quite simply, a story-teller. Here a just a few samples (punctuation and capitalization are as is):

"So I ate of the Doughnuts, and I said, Behold, these are just like all of thy Doughnuts. And she said, I am glad that thou dost think so. For they are so made that they absorb less Fat; therefore they are the more Wholesome. And I said, Go not too far with me in the Wholesome stunt; I do not want things to be too Wholesome; I can digest anything save it be Health Foods."

"...it would have been difficult to select a Finer Place of abode for a Moth of Sedentiary Habits."

"Keturah said, "Safed, dost thou not remember the Hopkins family that lived nigh unto us when we were first married?" And I said, "Yea, I remember them, to my sorrow." And she said, "Dost thou not remember that the first of all the evil things they did to us was the Present the Wished on us at our Wedding? Dost thou remember what it was?" And my heart fell within me, and I answered, "I think it was a Vase, but Very Unlike This One." And she laughed again, till she wept."

"And one day I returned from my Garden, and I was weary. And I ate my bread in the sweat of my face. and I said, "O Keturah, I am a Punk Gardener." And Keturah answered, "It would not be becoming in me to Dispute my husband." And I said, "Behold, my fathers before me were Punk Gardeners. My first Ancestor was a Gardener, and he could not Hold Down his Job.""

"My dear, I am not sure why Delilah delivered Samson over to the Philestines, but I think he had forgotten to mail her letters."

"Now the foot which he set upon the Soap flew eastward toward the Sunrise, and the other foot started on an expedition of its own toward the going down of the Sun. And the Millionaire sat down upon the Topmost Step, but he did not remain there. As it had been his Intention to Descend, so he Descended, but not in the manner of his Original Design. And as he descended he struck each step with a sound as if it had been a Drum. And the Scrublady stood aside courteously, and let him go."

"Then began the little maiden to consider how she could Support the Family with the Unearned Increment from her Teeth."

"The daughter of the daughter of Keturah sat upon the Curb, and she looked like a Small Sized Picture of Dejection."

I've seen it... it's rubbish

Let the peasants rejoice! The Hitchhiker's Guide to the galaxy is now available on DVD! Woot! Funny stuff, obviously. I personally have a deep affinity for Marvin, the paranoid android. Special features on the DVD include deleted scenes, fake deleted scenes, and a Hangman game with Marvin. Also a singalong feature for "So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", a lovely song. Good times, good times.

Stuff

One of my assignments in my English class is to write an observatory essay about a place. Anyplace. It could be anywhere I wanted. I knew right away where I wanted to go. Obviously, it doesn't get more interesting than Urban Mill. While I was there, dutifully observing and not so dutifully instant messaging friends, I realized that everything I was writing was stuff I could've written from memory... even describing some of the crazies that frequent the place! Does this mean I'm very observant of mindless details generally? Or do I just spend too much time at the coffeeshop? Hmmm....

How long is too long for a car to go between oil changes? Just curious.

In which I exhibit true blogging arrogance and assume you care about what I read

I have been reading this evening. I love reading, and try to keep up on three to five books at a time. The current picks are good ones, but I have generously decided to burden you with the description of only one. I do, however, expect a comprehensive book report from each of you by Monday. This report must by at least 12 pages long, single spaced. I will be deducting 10 points from your grade for every day it is late. You've been warned.

Ella Minnow Pea is a lovely book written by a dashed clever man by the name of Mark Dunn. This is an immensely entertaining book - a fiction written in the form of letters. Our charming main character, for whom the book is named, lives on a small island nation off the coast of South Carolina. This nation is named for Nevin Nollop, coiner of the phrase "the quick brown fox jumped over the lazy dog". The people of Nollop have devoted themselves to study of the liberal arts and the veneration of their famous native son. When letters of the alphabet begin to fall off the memorial to Nevin, they become banned from all use by the island council on pain of several forms of punishment. The letters show the results of these strange new rules, as phonetical spellings are used and new words are invented. Funny premise, no?

This is a linquist's dream book. (I know that the esteemed director of the Ministry of Vocabulary would appriciate it.) Can you imagine the work it took to write something like this? That's way more work than I would be willing to put in.

At any rate, I'd reccomend the book to you all. It's worth a look.

Also, for those who did not get the memo - on Friday night there will be fireworks in downtown GR. For those who wish to watch the pyrotechnical feast with myself, my brothers, and other cool people, there will be a group forming on Pearl St. bridge.

That is all.

There are two types of people in this world. Those who like chocolate and communists.

Since sharing with you, gentle reader, the crushing embarassment of the mousse incident, it has occured to me that some of you may not know how obsessed I am with making desserts. I have in times past earned the title "evil" and wore it proudly. I'm very happy that we are again approaching baking weather. Cheesecakes will soon be forthcoming! Hurrah! I have several concepts to try out in the realm of cheesecake-dom. In the meantime, I promised this recipe to several people, and this seemed as good of a way to provide it to them as any. :-)


1 package of cream cheese, softened
1 stick of butter (not margarine), softened
1 tspn vanilla
3/4 cup powdered sugar
3 to 4 tblspns brown sugar (Original recipe calls for 2 tblspns. I'm a "taste it and see" kind of cook, and after tasting decided it needed something yet. Go with however much you like)
1 cup miniature chocolate chips, more or less. (Go ahead and eat some. After all, they might just be bad, and you can't serve that, can you?)
1 cup toasted, chopped pecans, divided

Cream together cream cheese, butter, vanilla, and sugars until well combined. Stir in chocolate chips and 1/4 cup pecans. Cover and refridgerate for 2 hours. Form into ball, roll in remaining pecans. Chill for at least an hour. Serve with chocolate wafers, graham crackers, vanilla wafers, or forget the cookies and grab a spoon (My personal recommendation).

Talk amongst yourselves

Well, y'all. I don't feel like posting anything educational or profound tonight. But I do want comments, so I shall give you a topic for discussion.

The topic is (drum roll please) : why the parking ramp in front of Rivertown Mall is STILL broken after having been "fixed" three times since it's construction and whether you feel safe parking either on top or underneath said ramp.

That is all.