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45 comments:
They are rather cultish, eh?
Personally I find Purple Hats much more alarming.
Hey hey hey, The only not jurries comment is mine, alll mine!!!
Mom asked the red hat ladies if she could join, but they said she had to be black.
Viva la red hat revolution!!!
I think you have to be 40, yes, but I've never heard of a racial requirement!! My grandma is a red-hatter and she's not black!! Janna, I think you are scared of turning 40, and this manifests itself by showing a fear of red hat ladies. Perhaps you need counseling like Evie? New bloggers get a discount you know:-)
Perhaps you ought to counsel yourself on your fear of being sent to Neptune.
The quack-o-meter is at ten and rising...
Oh markie-poo, you owe me royalties on the name Cramp Bottom. I had it copywrited.
I shall file a complaint with the police.
A bit of clarification - I have no fear (rational or otherwise) of turning 40 or beyond. What scares me are large groups of bored housewives dressed in garish getups. They, having decided that now it's "me time", band together and descend on an unsuspecting public, harassing waitresses and demanding still more and more synthetic feathers for their hats. THAT is what scares me.
Evie, Evie, Evie. I am not Cramp Bottom, I simply employ C.B. (M.M.) as the Director of the Ministry of Vocabulary. Cramp and Cramp alone is responsible for Cramp's actions, though I must say that Cramp's been doing a commendable job keeping the defilers of the mother tongue in line.
Ha! You still owe me. You and your little alter-ego!
Janna!
I know what you mean. I used to be terrified of the Red Hat ladies. Then one of my friends did a project on them, and even though the organization is sorta or reminiscent or sororities and frats where you buy friends, it's kind of a cool idea for older women who still wanna have a good time. I don't know though. :-D
The red hat ladies must be purged! We cannot tollerate communists in our ranks! Death to Marx!
NO!!! Cramp Bottom (M.M.)! One simple mistake is not enough to justify the dissolution of so valuable a ministry! I'm sure many would agree with me, though perhaps not Erika.
Oh how I've longed for this day Cramp Bottom, when I can pull you out of your cushy lair and expose you to the light of justice as the vile monster you really are, a monster so vile.....
Mwa ha ha, He's probably trying to dodge paying for the rights to his monkier! I knew he is a monster, even when he decided to take over Mark as his evil alter-ego who is violating a copywrite!!!!!!!!
He will probably drink a round of screwdrivers and tell me I'm off my rocker!!
Yah, I always thought Cramp was a funny guy... Cramp, come back! The blogs need you!
Jake
Cramp Bottom's resignation has been refused. The Director made a mistake, but it was uninentional and a small blemish on an otherwise spotless record.
Aw, NUTS!
Hey Jake, threre have been numerous people posing as cramp bottom, but now Marks evil alter-ego has taken over the copywrited name, for which he owes me.
Evie, I'm not Cramp Bottom. You're barking up the wrong tree. I don't owe you a single red cent, though I may have to sue you for emotional distress.
Oh, and Cramp Bottom - Herzlichen Glückwunsch zum Geburtstag!
I can attest to the fact that Mark is not Cramp Bottom.
By the way, Jake - do I know you?
Hmm thats odd. I was wondering why cramp bottom comments only when you are online, directly after you do, and says you are the director, you say you are the director, and Janna offers phoney witness. Can only be one other, possibly another Jurries that would even bother being so square as to run about tag-teaming it with mark, and that one isn't even square! Look in the mirror, mark, and janna, and laugh if you wish... I know...
Cramp Bottom is not a Jurries.
Mark, I happen to be getting more and more attached to the idea of going to Neptune!! I do NOT need counseling about such matters. Also, YOU'RE craMp bottom??? But that's just horrid and sad and...i'm not sure what. The shock is great and I'm not sure I can handle this emotional what was it, duress? at this time!! Evie, you must enlighten me on how you discoved craMp's ID!!
Evie, did you call me a quack?? I was just about to compliment you on your copyright idea, but as the whole raven things says, NEVERMORE!!
craMp, how come the mother of all jurries gets more benevolence than I? and she gets love on top of it!! PLUS you can't even figure out what you are trying to say!! This all shows that you are defunct and incompetent and were right to have stepped down from your duties. I'm still deciding if I shall miss you.
Janna, those rates are still low for you, don't worry, there's hope in your fear. Also, you know me well in that I would banish craMp:-)
NL, I really don't think red hat ladies are communist.
Vivla Caramp Boattome!!
Long live the Cramp bottom, to whom I give the rights of the moniker!!!!
Ps, I just figured out what you said in deutsh.
Well EriKa,
Nuts to you. Dictator for Life Mark reinstated me, so thhhhhhhhhhhpppppppppppttttttttt!
Though I made a typo, I did not stoop to using criminal webspeak, so, after a long afternoon of drenching the sorrows of both myself and my staff, we have returned victorious to supervise YOUR spelling and grammar once more.
Allow me to say that the Lemming did NOT discover my true identity.
She was all wrong about that... however, I revealed it to her yesterday, and she's not going to tell. Actually, about 6 people now know the true identity, but I doubt they'll be such spoil sports as to actually make it public.
Chew on that.
With Love,
Cramp Bottom M.M.
Reinstated Director
Evie, YOU know too??? How come everyone knows but ME???
Simply because you're you, EriKa.
With Love
Cramp Bottom M.M.
Director
Ministry of Vocabulary
Erika, it's in your best interests not to question the decisions made by the Director of the MOV, much less those of the Dictator. Complaining will only make your seat on the shuttle that much more secure.
To all offenders against our mother tongue -
I've known who Cramp is for quite a while, you know. And this particular man of mystery is not to be triffled with, that's for sure. And Mark, when in dictator mode, has a hair-trigger temper, rendering him liable to deport people to Neptune at the slightest provocation.
The upshot of all this is - be nice and polite to both, say please and thank you (not pls and tnk u) and they may, just may, spare you.
That is all.
thk u 4 warnin us.
You were warned...
Thanks for explaining that craMp...tell whoever anon is the more recent post that spelling my name wrong is a VERY large offense!! Thanks for the love, too!! Haven't gotten that in awhile:-)
Mark, I REALLY think you need anger management therepy!! I'm not trying to anger you anymore, just point out that every time you get mad at someone, you can't go around deporting them to Neptune!! Soon Neptune will be very overcrowded!!
Janna, YOU know too?? and thanks for the warning!! I'm beginning to understand the depths of Mark's temper!! Its rather disturbing!!
NotLiberal, you're next...
EriKa... *sigh*. I begin to despair. Therepy? Go find a dictionary and look up the word Therapy. You'll find that for some strange reason they spell it with an 'a'.
With Love,
Cramp Bottom
Director
Ministry of Vocabulary
15 and rising!! Oh the suspense is killing me!!!!!!!!!!!!1
will the world go up in a ball of flame, or will just a small portion of it spontaniously combust?
craMp, you can take NL as soon as he bakes me and Chuck our bread!! I'm really sorry about the whole "therepy" thing. Whats funny is that I spent forever trying to figure out how to spell therapist, and figured it was with an a, then minutes later spelled it wrong again!!
Evie, WHAT IS RISING????
Didn't you catch it up there? I'm talking about the quack-o-meter, which rises with each mention of phony counseling. (Ahhh, 16 and rising!!!)
Gracie dear, don't be confused! There is another Grace who lurks (but rarely comments) around some blogs here. She is a younger sister to Mark, Chuck, and myself, and that is who Evie thought you were.
Cramp Bottom (M.M.), it is indeed a pleasure to see you have resumed your duties.
Erika, don't ever change.
To all commenters, I only need two more comments to have a grand total of 50 for my first post. If you don't, I'll be forced to make them myself, which is sad. Don't let this happen!
49
50
Oh Janna, I never knew Mark and Chuck were your brothers!! Hmm, how many times has Mark threatened to deport you?? I'll bet you had a tramatic childhood!! Don't worry, I won't ever change:-) and I'm #51!!
I have approximately one word for you.
Frood. Cool Frood
Traumatic, I do believe is the correct term.
And yes, we are family, by brothers and my sisters and me. Oh, we are family, I've got all my sisters with me. Oh, we are family... (sing it!)
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