"Concerning a Young Woman who loved Art with a capitol A, and who appeared not to love Dishwashing."

I bring forth yet another book for your consideration, gentle readers. The name of this book is Parables of a Country Parson and it was written by William E. Barton. Seeing as I fully expect every last one of you to read the book, and therefore to read the preface, I see little need to explain in painstaking detail the history of Barton's life. Suffice it to say, he was a pastor, author, and speaker in the early twentieth century. In fact, if you are within reach of your 1930 copy of Who's Who, you will see that the entry regarding Barton is the longest. His contributions to the world of print are many and varied, but his most beloved are certainly his long running syndicated column, Safed the Sage. Safed is a barely veiled autobiographical character, and Safed's wife Keturah is most definitely written with Mrs Barton in mind. Parables of a Country Parson is a collection of some of these short stories and parables. Short indeed, at two to three pages each, they're perfect for the ADHD reader of today. Barton had a unique voice in his writing, possessing a style that is wise, humorous, and wonderfully down to earth. He was, quite simply, a story-teller. Here a just a few samples (punctuation and capitalization are as is):

"So I ate of the Doughnuts, and I said, Behold, these are just like all of thy Doughnuts. And she said, I am glad that thou dost think so. For they are so made that they absorb less Fat; therefore they are the more Wholesome. And I said, Go not too far with me in the Wholesome stunt; I do not want things to be too Wholesome; I can digest anything save it be Health Foods."

"...it would have been difficult to select a Finer Place of abode for a Moth of Sedentiary Habits."

"Keturah said, "Safed, dost thou not remember the Hopkins family that lived nigh unto us when we were first married?" And I said, "Yea, I remember them, to my sorrow." And she said, "Dost thou not remember that the first of all the evil things they did to us was the Present the Wished on us at our Wedding? Dost thou remember what it was?" And my heart fell within me, and I answered, "I think it was a Vase, but Very Unlike This One." And she laughed again, till she wept."

"And one day I returned from my Garden, and I was weary. And I ate my bread in the sweat of my face. and I said, "O Keturah, I am a Punk Gardener." And Keturah answered, "It would not be becoming in me to Dispute my husband." And I said, "Behold, my fathers before me were Punk Gardeners. My first Ancestor was a Gardener, and he could not Hold Down his Job.""

"My dear, I am not sure why Delilah delivered Samson over to the Philestines, but I think he had forgotten to mail her letters."

"Now the foot which he set upon the Soap flew eastward toward the Sunrise, and the other foot started on an expedition of its own toward the going down of the Sun. And the Millionaire sat down upon the Topmost Step, but he did not remain there. As it had been his Intention to Descend, so he Descended, but not in the manner of his Original Design. And as he descended he struck each step with a sound as if it had been a Drum. And the Scrublady stood aside courteously, and let him go."

"Then began the little maiden to consider how she could Support the Family with the Unearned Increment from her Teeth."

"The daughter of the daughter of Keturah sat upon the Curb, and she looked like a Small Sized Picture of Dejection."