Johnny's Day - a day in the life of a stereotypical homeschooler

My dear friend Mrs P over at the Ministry of Vocabulary has posted a blast from the past - an article from our wildly sucessful (despite it limited - two copies - distribution) lifestyle mag entitled "Homeschooling - the Sad Reality". This was, as our disclaimer stated, "a newsletter dedicated to revealing the truth about homeschooling. We are also commited to making fun of the stereotypical homeschooler. " Homeschoolers, you see, are oft times stereotyped. As Mrs P herself wrote, "When you hear the word (homeschooler) it automatically brings to mind people very much like the Amish, who love to do their Saxon Math.". As articles are unearthed, they will be published for you to enjoy. Here is Marion's front page contribution.


Hello there! My name is Johnny Blake. I am a homeschooler. This is a typical day in my life. Thanks to my mom, who always does what's best for me, I have a great routine - so all the days in my week are pretty much the same.
Mom wakes me up at 5:30 every morning (On Saturdays we like to be lazy and get up at 6:00). I jump right up, take a cold shower (very good for blood circulation), get dressed in my homemade (even the material) clothes, and run outside to feed the chickens. They are my science project. They are doing very well. Then I come in to have a wonderful and nutritious breakfast of oatmeal and carrot juice. Sometimes Mom gives us a real treat and serves all natural granola. We NEVER eat sugar if we can help it. It gives us the heebie jeebies. We finish our meal with devotions and mutual sharing time. We all sharing interesting dreams we had during the night.
Well, by then it's nearly 7:00 - School time! This is my favorite time of day - next to mutual sharing time, of course. I never have to be told to start my work. I do four hours of Saxon Math followed by another four hours of Saxon Math. Then I work on a few science projects that I have lying aroud. I think the lima bean experiment is pretty neat. My littlest sister Tabitha (the littlest of 14 - I'm 12 and I'm the oldest) often helps me. Then we all sit down to lunch, usually vegatable dishes. Mom says that a vegetarian lifestyle is extremely healthy - in fact, I'm glad she does. Who on earth would want pizza when they could have delicious asparagus served in bean sauce? After lunch we have devotions and another mutual sharing time. We share all the interesting experiences we've had since breakfast. We are all very considerate and take our turns. I always let the younger ones go first.
Well then it's back to school work. I work on some more Saxon Math and then I do other subjects, like history - which I don't really enjoy but still fully apply myself to. The time flies and suddenly it's time for supper - usually something scrumptious like vegetarian lasagna. We close with devotions and another mutual sharing time. We all turn in early, and go to sleep happy in the knowledge that Mom and Dad always do what's best for all us 14 kids. And that's what a day in my life is like. Thank you for reading my humble work!