Confession

Today I ate a whole can of French's Onion Rings - the cheesy kind to boot - all by myself.




Further confession - I feel no remorse.

Items of Interest

First of all and most importantly of all, I have joyous news to impart. As of last week, D&W (otherwise a mostly worthless and overpriced grocery, but I say nothing) is carrying a line of stir-fry sauces from Yen Ching. This line includes General Tso sauce - hooray! Now I just have to figure out how to make the tempura chicken. That'll be easy, right?

As my dear Mr B has recorded already, last week found us in Chicago. There, as you will certainly gather from his account, we ate like pigs who had lost interest in life and really let themselves go. Not recorded in his posts are the visits to the Ghiradelli, Hershey, and Lindt stores. To all who anticipate travel to the Windy City, note this: each of these stores offers free samples upon entering the store, and the person handing out free samples never looks up. You can go through again and again and they never catch on. Fun times. All I can say is that the baby wanted chocolate. And as far as the Morton's dinner went... well, clearly the baby wanted beef and lots of it. They say protein is important during pregnancy, right?

We attended the Chicago Symphony Orchestra's performance of Mahler's Third Symphony. Firstly, the positives. The building is very beautiful. The symphony orchestra itself is a very talented group, with the brass section in particular getting a chance to shine. Michelle DeYoung was the visiting mezzo-soprano and she does have a very lovely voice (though girlfriend should consider some anti-frizz treatment for her hair). I hadn't been to a symphony performance so far this year, and thoroughly enjoyed going again. I really do enjoy classical music and am always ready to jump at an opportunity to attend a performance.

Now. The negatives. I have two main complaints, neither of which I expect sympathy for, but which I shall share nonetheless. First of all, while flanked on the left by my dear Mr B, seated next to me on the right was a gentleman of considerable girth and not so apparent standards of hygiene. That is to say, he stunk to high heaven. In addition to these considerable disadvantages, he appeared to suffer from emphysema or COPD or some such respiratory distress. This distress he made worse by silently weeping throughout the duration of the performance. The pattern of the evening was then to weep and wheeze, alternately, with some apparently moving sections producing heavier weeping and the resultant desperate wheezing and clutching for air. Strangely, all this silent but copious emotion and pulminary distress seemed to make the stench worse. Most distressing.

The second negative is that the symphony was written by Mahler. Now, it may well be that Herr Mahler was a convivial sort, perhaps even a barrel of laughs. I don't know much about his life. What I do know is that he wrote some really awful music. The 3rd Symphony, which we heard, was apparently based off a work of Nietzsche. Not a good indicator of what was to come. His music is why people think they hate classical music. It's the sort of music that goes on and on and on being quiet and boring only to startle all of the dozing audience by having the trumpets and drums come crashing in pointlessly. If the Symphony we heard was any indication of Mahler's other works, he seemed to be a fan of the endless ending. That's when the music gives every indication that it is coming to an end, and in fact seems to have ended, only to, against all reason, continue and give at least five more false endings before finally, mercifully, coming to a stop. They should consider playing Mahler down at Club Gitmo. While awful in a different way than Britney Spears, it might be just as effective.

That said, it was fun to go and I'm glad we went. We had fun times shopping on Michigan Ave and certainly enjoyed the trip over all. Fun times, y'all.

In other news, the ignitor went out on my oven, but will be replaced tomorrow (let the peasants rejoice).

Last night Mr B and I went to a dismally boring training session on how to be poll challengers. I hope the job isn't as boring as the training and I really hope I don't have to work with some of the yutzes who were asking stupid questions and prolonging the agony for all of us. I am anxious to see which ghetto precinct they're going to put me into and whether or not I'll have to do much challenging. I actually hope I get to challenge something and feel like I did my part to keep election procedures fair, legal, and etc. Also, I think I will bring cookies so the poll workers will like me.

Hmmm... what else? Probably not so much. Mayhap I will write more soon, but I wouldn't count on it if I were you. Also, how is it one updates to this Beta Blogger, and is it worth it? Hmm...

Major craving alert

Right now I desperately want to eat General Tso chicken from Yen Ching. But not Yen Ching on 28th St. They don't make it right there. I want General Tso chicken from Yen Ching downtown, which of course has been closed for a couple of years. And no other Chinese place will do. If it be not Yen Ching, it be not worthwhile. I thusly recognize that this craving is impossible to fufill. That, however, does not mean I can focus on anything else. All I can think about is lovely General Tso chicken. Yummy spicy crispy chicken. With sticky rice. Or maybe fried rice. Yeah, fried rice. And crab rangoon. And that tea they made at Yen Ching (downtown, of course). Oy. It's gonna be a long day.

I hate snow

I'm not ready for winter yet.

Well well

Sentient Nebulae!

Heh. I really just wanted to use that for a post title. I have no earthly idea what this post will actually be about. How fun for you, the reader.

Weeeeellllllllllllllll.......... lessee. This week.... hmmmm.... well, we discovered that we're quite good at making gumbo, and quite awful at thinking ahead. I suppose if we had thought ahead, we could've cut the recipe in half, or maybe even quarters. But no. We aren't smart like that. We instead made a vat full of it, and I'm quite serious when I say that I can't stand the sight of it anymore. But it is delicious. Maybe we'll airmail it to some starving goodish sized country.

Also discovered this week was the third floor here at Chez Birn. Mrs P was so good as to accompany me on this adventure, and will bear witness to the extreme coolness of said attic. Lovely wood floors, exposed brick, nifty windows - I'm quite excited.

Is it cheating to link to something someone else just linked? Very well, then, I'm a cheat. My brother John linked this WAY awesome music video several weeks ago and since I'm a big old dork, I still think it's cool despite repeated viewings and the fact that it's probably really not cool at all to begin with. That's ok. I'm good with being a dork.

So tomorrow begins MSU football season. Oy. Not going to tomorrow's game, but instead will experience football widowhood for the first time. Maybe I'll go shopping. Yeah. And get new football widowhood shoes. Ok, maybe I can live with this.

Anyway, another boring post concluded. I really ought to start a nice educational series of posts soon. Yes. Yes, indeed. I shall.

Maybe.

A Bright, Shiny, New Day in Brogging

This is only like the coolest brog ever. It's wonderful! I love it! It's great! Well, it's pretty good. It's not too bad. There are some parts that aren't that great. It actually could be a lot better. I don't really like it all that much. It's pretty terrible. It's awful, as a matter of fact.

Sodium related query

Who do you think it was that first looked at salt and thought, "Hey, I'll eat that!", and more importantly, why?

Singin la la la la la-la-la la

Well, folks, even grooviness, penultimate though it be, takes a vacation now and then. But all vacations must come to an end sooner or later. Elstwise they would not be vacations, would they? Exactly.

At any rate, grooviness and coolness are abounding. For serious. For instance, yesterday I went to vote in the primaries and got to vote for my own husband. How cool is that? I mean, really. That's pretty sweet stuff there.

Mrs P has returned from her sojurn in Canada bearing news of a new Ikea store in Canton. The excitement is pert near too much, I can tell you. I've got a little list...

I've often thought about the kind of bakery I would open, given half a chance. I found it, last Saturday, whilst in Detroit. Mr B, who is always spot on when it comes to predicting what I will and will not like, assured me I would love the Astoria Pastry Shop in Greektown. I doubted, to my shame, and was proved wrong in a big way. This place is amazing. I found, to my dissapointment, that my husband did not intend to buy me one of everything so I could sample the full range of yumminess. I instead contented myself with the chocolate mousse, a cookie, and a promise that every future sporting event I am dragged to in the Motor City will be rewarded by a visit to my new favorite bakery. I think I can live with that.

I promised several posts re: our Italian adventures. I will try to scrabble something together later. For now, I will tell the tale of a very obnoxious American tourist. We were seated in a lovely trattoria, enjoying the customary long pause between ordering and receiving our food, when we couldn't help overhearing a loud, brightly dressed, very American woman. She was surveying her menu (full of unbelievably delicious Italian food) and was unable to find that which she sought after. She then interrogated the waiter, "Do you have spaghetti and meatballs? You know, meatballs? You make them with hamburger and breadcrumbs and egg? Meatballs? They're Italian!" It was at that moment that I clearly saw why Europeans hate Americans. And I really can't say as I blame them.

Well, well. Can't sit around typing all day. Must move along. On a final note of coolness, I just want to say welcome back to blogging, Loretta. Very cool.

There

I updated.

"There seems to be a proponderance of naked men..."

Scared ya there, didn't I? Heh. The above quote was first uttered by a passing British tourist, in regards to Florentine statuary. Said tourist was correct, incidentally.

Italy was absolutely amazing. I will post about our travels in greater detail later on, suffice it to say for now that it was beautiful. Florence and Siena were my favorites, though I loved the Cinque Terre. We spent one day in Bologna and that was one day too many, I regret to say. Venice was at once decrepit and lovely. That said, it wasn't my fav. Since hardly anyone actually lives there, it's mostly tourists, and that tries the nerves.

The tourists, you see, are an interesting lot. There were the Germans, who were rude and obnoxious and also still seem under the impression that Italy belongs to them. There were the Japanese, who raced after their tour guide's uplifted umbrella, determined to see the five things they came to see and nothing else. The Brits were hilarious, providing hours of entertainment and education to the casual eavesdropper. They seem to work in teams - they all take turns providing opportunities for each other to pontificate on art, history, botany, or whatever happens to be the topic du jour. I'll give 'em this much - they did their homework before they came.

And then there are the Americans. Oy. How embarrassing. There's nothing worse than realizing that your countrymen visiting abroad are treating the place like Epcot. A hint to those who would travel - Europe is not a zoo. I'll be writing a rant about obnoxious American tourists at some point this week. I've got issues with these folk.

The food, should you wish to know, was far and away the best I've had ever. I loved loved loved loved loved the gelato (and whaddya know? there's a stand on every corner!) and we got some chocolate yummiliciousness at the pasticherrias as well. I'm somewhat addicted to prosciutto and fresh mozzerella sandwiches now, as well as Nutella and biscuits for breakfast. And someday maybe I'll be able to eat pasta at a resturant here in the states, but it won't be soon. It's just too soon to desecrate the memory of real Italian pasta.

The countryside was spectacular. We had really lovely views from our rooms while in Tuscany, and the Mediterrianian is breathtakingly beautiful. I think we were able to balance seeing really important sights and living somewhat like locals, albeit rather odd locals. We visited world famous art museums, and sat in a local laundromat. We walked in a grand palace and skulked around in it's dungeons. We walked and walked and walked and walked and walked (we NEEDED the gelato for energy! yeah! that's the ticket!), and spent some lovely hours hanging out in the piazzas

Ah yes, so much to write about, but frankly, I'm jet-lagged and have had to re-type almost every word. This won't do at all. I'll write more later. By the way, the links in the second paragraph are to our pictures. These aren't all of them, but they're by far the best. Ciao ciao!

Somebody's getting marrrieeeed!!!!!

Bears:
Extra! Extra! Somebody's getting married!
Somebody's getting married? HEY, somebody's getting married!
Whoa, somebody's getting married!
Pops: Somebody's getting married???
Lew Zealand: Somebody's getting marrrrieeeed!
Group:
Somebody's getting married! Somebody's getting married! Somebody's getting somebody's getting somebody's getting somebody somebody somebody somebody...!
Kermit, Gonzo, Fozzie, Scooter:
Somebody get some flowers!
Somebody get a ring!
Somebody get a chapel and a choir to sing!
Kermit: Somebody get an organ to play!
Singing Tuxedos: Cause somebody's getting married today!
Miss Piggy, Janice, Camilla:
Somebody get a preacher!
Somebody bake a cake!
Somebody get some shoes and rice and presents to take!
Miss Piggy: Somebody get a sweet negilee!
Singing Veils: Cause somebody's getting married today!
Swedish Chef: Veddeeng! Veddeeng! Peeg und fruggeee veddeeng!
Men:
Somebody get champagne!
Somebody rent a room!
Girls:
Somebody get the lovely bride!
And somebody get the-
Men: Somebody get the-
Both: Somebody somebody somebody somebody somebody--!
Female Voices: Somebody get this wedding underway!
Swedish Chef: Coose-a sumebudy's getteeng merreeed toodey!
Bear Family: Somebody's getting married....today!
Ernie: Are they here yet, are they here yet, did I miss it, am I late?
Bert: No, they're be here any minute!
Cookie Monster: Oh boy, me can hardly wait.
Pops: Isn't this exciting--it's the wedding of the year!
Sam The Eagle: Well, can't we start without them?
Muppet News Anchorman: No, you can't until they're here.
Sam: Hmm.
Chorus of Penguins: They're finally getting married now!


I'm getting married tomorrow!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Oh I say, that's rather splendid, isn't it?

Huzzah and hurrah for those good old crumpets, my brothers. These chaps rallied round and made me a rather splendid present of the complete Jeeves and Wooster series on DVD. Absolutely topping and all that. Words fail to express gratitude, etc for said marvelous gift.

My nephew is here!!!!!!

Congratulations to Justin and Marion Pickering on the birth of their precious baby boy, George Brice!!! He's here!!!!!!

Five days to go

Everyone keeps asking me if I'm nervous yet. This makes me nervous.

Sufficiently Decayed

So I've had this song stuck in my head all day; and as I see it, the best way to rid myself of it is to, that's right, blog about it. Or not so much blog about it as simply put up the lyrics. Though it's worth mentioning that the version with Eric Idle (as pictured above) is quite amusing. OK. So this is a complete cop-out of a post. Shut up. I'll write about interesting things again this summer. Maybe. We'll see. Read the lyrics. Gah.

Katisha: There is beauty in the bellow of the blast, There is grandeur in the growling of the gale, There is eloquent outpouring When the lion is a-roaring, And the tiger is a-lashing of his tail!

Ko-Ko:

Yes, I like to see a tiger From the Congo or the Niger, And especially when lashing of his tail!

Katisha:

Volcanoes have a splendour that is grim, And earthquakes only terrify the dolts, But to him who's scientific There's nothing that's terrific In the falling of a flight of thunderbolts!

Ko-Ko:

Yes, in spite of all my meekness, If I have a little weakness, It's a passion for a flight of thunderbolts!

Both:

If that is so, Sing derry down derry! It's evident, very, Our tastes are one. Away we'll go, And merrily marry, Nor tardily tarry Till day is done!

Ko-Ko:

There is beauty in extreme old age — Do you fancy you are elderly enough? Information I'm requesting On a subject interesting: Is a maiden all the better when she's tough?

Katisha:

Throughout this wide dominion It's the general opinion That she'll last a good deal longer when she's tough.

Ko-Ko:

Are you old enough to marry, do you think? Won't you wait till you are eighty in the shade? There's a fascination frantic In a ruin that's romantic; Do you think you are sufficiently decayed?

Katisha:

To the matter that you mention I have given some attention, And I think I am sufficiently decayed.

Both:
If that is so,
Sing derry down derry!
It's evident, very,
Our tastes are one.
Away we'll go,
And merrily marry,
Nor tardily tarry
Till day is done!

If that is so,
Sing derry down derry!
It's evident, very,
Our tastes are one.
Away we'll go,
And merrily marry,
Nor tardily tarry
Till day is done!

Sing derry down derry!
We'll merrily marry,
Nor tardily tarry
Till day is done!

Wheel of morality, turn, turn, turn. Tell us the lesson that we should learn.

So ever since John and Chuck posted about Animaniacs stuff on YouTube, I've been struck with how educational a show my favorite cartoon really was. That's right. I said it was educational. Not a waste of time at all. No. It was educational. Yeah. That's my story. I'm stickin' with it. It was instructive and informative. Note, if you will, the geographical lessons - nations of the world, states and capitols, even planets of our solar system. The senses song is classic, of course, but nothing, no nothing, can possibly compete with the coolest song ever. Neuroanatomy rocks, y'all.

fol-der-ol and fid-dle-dy-dee

OK, just some random thoughts today, written in a self absorbed manner, not unlike a livejournal or similar wanna be blog. I really should be cleaning, but sitting down and typing whatever fool thing comes to my head sounded much better. That's right. I'm cool like that.

On the subject of Lebanese food in Grand Rapids - first of all, I just want to say that I am a fan. Second of all, I thought it over, and really, Marie Catrib's has the best hummus. But Osta's Chicken Tawook is amazing and the baklava was the best I've had in a long time. So really, you can't miss.

On the subject of cleaning, which isn't sounding any better at the moment, frankly - I have waaaayyyy too much stuff here in my room. Seriously, it'd be easier to set fire to it than take care of it. Don't worry, Mom, I won't. I shall instead inflict all this stuff upon the poor. Yeah.

On the subject of shopping - again, I'm a fan. Blue Turtle Books (I'm pretty sure that's what the name was) at Godfrey and Hall is a way fun place. I intend to go there often. There is no finer smell in the world than used books. Except perhaps rubber cement. But that's probably just me.

Also on the subject of shopping - Rumor is that The Pepperberry closed. I hope this isn't true. I liked that place. Didn't often buy there, which is probably why they're closed, but I liked wandering around there.

On the subject of very exciting events - yesterday I got to feel little George Pickering kicking his poor mother. He's going to be here soon! I can't wait to hold him!

On a related subject, but with a strange and slightly depressing thought - Chances are really good that said George will be taller than me when he's ten. Great. I'll be his old and short Aunt Janna. He'll probably pat me on the head. Gah.

Back to cleaning - Haley's Hints is a great book, but what I wonder is who decided in the first place to try some of these things? I mean, I wouldn't look at a stain and think, "well, I'll mix some vinegar and toothpaste and salt and water softener and baking soda, spread it on a cut lemon, rub it on, and hope for the best!". But all these hints seem to work, so bully to whoever thought outside the box.

On the subject of still avoiding actual work - I could go for some waffles right now. Mmmmm.....

On the subject of things a certain brother is going to install on my computer - The Rijksmuseum in Amsterdam has this nifty widget thingy whereby they send you a different painting from their collection every single day. Also, it must be said, the Rijksmuseum website is much, much, much nicer and more informative than the Uffizi site. Not that that does me a bit of good, but still, there it is.

On the subject of waitressing - well, the less said about that the better. I'm almost done. I'll miss my coworkers at Russ' for sure. They're a great bunch of people. That said, I'm sick of getting pocket change and gospel tracts for tips. Cheap Dutchies, leaving me carefully counted out pennies, as if I work there for fun and the pennies are a pleasant bonus, rather than my main form of income. And then there was that Jew who came in the other night, insisted I wait on his table, and then made me give him a penny to help cover his bill. Gosh. Who let him in?

On the subject of the wedding - it's only four weeks away. Wow. It seems like everything's coming together. I don't know. I feel like I'm forgetting something. Oh well. It probably isn't anything important. Hopefully.

On the subject of things annoying, irritating, and generally pesky - My hair. It's a disaster. Seriously, growing it out sounds all fine and well, but it has no style now. I'd cut it all off, but for the wedding. I swear, I will get it cut in Italy.

On the subject of fun times - getting reply cards from wedding invites makes me happy. Of course, getting mail generally always makes me happy. There's something about a letter coming in the mail that can never be matched by email. The only thing better is getting a package from UPS. Oh yeah. I've got two coming. Excitement.

OK - I've slacked off WAY too long now. Back to work. This is a long post, so I don't expect I'll get more that 10 comments. Had I posted, "lalalalalalalalala", I might have gotten something like 87 comments, but I've been given to understand that that is demoralizing to fellow broggers, and we can't have that. No, indeedy. Also, I'm realizing that there's no way to end this post, except abruptly.

Alas! for these are degenerate times...

Woe to us that we should see the day! Ruffians and hooligans are wandering the streets of the previously halycon Grandville, egging the unoffending vehicles of the citizenry at will! Dissipation and profligacy abound! Will Grandville become the next ghetto? Will all cars be vulnerable to the evil intentions of various rotters and bad eggs (punny)? We fear. We tremble. We are dashed well shaken to the core. Or not. Either, really.

Am I going nuts or is that you?

So this was freaky weird. I looked at the clock, and it said 3:43. I looked again what surely seemed to be a minute later and the clock still said 3:43. I gazed upon the timepiece for what seemed to be a lifetime, and it remained at 3:43. I concluded the clock had become frozen. I couldn't resist one last look only seconds later - imagine my suprise when I saw that not only was 3:43 done and over, but the clock had seemingly given 3:44 a miss and gone straight to 3:45. I'm now scared of my obviously possessed clock.

It also occurs to me that perhaps 4 in the morning is not the wisest time to be shopping on Ebay. Too bad, that.